Three lessons learned from accepting powerlessness over another person:

Peace comes from within, not without

Freedom is the hidden power

Self-change is the ultimate gift

Today my son carries his stool to the market square and stands upon it. As he begins his daily tirade I slip into my seat at  the coffee shop. The old man, the easterner who makes the coffee, brings me a pot and mug and my daily biscuit.

Friends come over and we share silence. No use trying to talk until the shouting is done, as it will be soon. My son is punctual as any clock, if more obnoxious.

I have changed this year, since I stopped trying to change my son. And i have gained friends.  They were there all along, but I did not see them until i gave myself permission to see something other, anything other than my son.

The shouting stops. From one word to the next, it just stops and the hater steps down from his stool and begins to walk away. He hesitates and looks my way and my heart stops inside me, but there is nothing more, just a look.

I call for more coffee and we begin to chat of the day ahead and our duties and what we have heard of the war.  I am sad but I have found some measure of peace since I stopped my own mad attempts to change my son.

He is what he is, as I am. And I am free to live again. It is a gift I have given myself.

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