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Day 24 – I Choose

Three advantages to acknowledging my own feelings:

I can display them or not, as I choose

I can lay them aside and proceed with intent, as I choose

I can act on them, as I choose

When I meditate at day’s end, I scan myself for negatives: tight muscles, clenched jaw, aching calves. And as I do, I ask myself what emotions are associated with them. Sometimes, none are; a tired back is only that. Sometimes the aching jaw and headache are due to negative emotions I have been carefully not feeling all day long.

I can deal with them just as I deal with unwanted physical sensations. I can recognize them, give them respect for what they are, and then move on. This is the essence of meditation for me,  recognize and move on.

But where? Where do I move on to?

I move on to the real me, the me that is there always, the unconcerned core that all my emotions and sensations surround.

It’s funny. I had to hurt so much, so long and so hard that I was desperate for relief and would try anything, before I tried meditation and found myself.

It’s like that for the others in our lives as well, but more so. So today, I choose to acknowledge the achy tired worn-out feeling I get when I think of my son’s years-long struggles with addiction. I can set it aside for the day and just move on, with calm intent. I can be me.

Published in January

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